Sign location: Savage Pizza, Avondale Estates
Sign purpose: Reminding me how old I am.
Grade: D
Comments: The 90s were so great. No one cared about shit, and video games didn’t get patched every five seconds.

Sign location: Pastries A Go Go, Decatur
Sign purpose: Charming me out of money.
Grade: B+
Comments: I eat here three times a week. I want to stop, but when I go too long without Pastries I get all … itchy.

Sign location: Dancing Goats, Decatur
Sign purpose: Mind reading.
Grade: C+
Comments: This sign does not contain lyrics to Breezeblocks by Alt-J, and therefore is incapable of reading my mind.

Sign location: Fridge in Ala.
Sign purpose: EEEEE!!!!!
Grade: A
Comments: EEEE!!! The Koala is so adorbs. Cutest. Pat down. Ever.