You ever have one of those moments where you feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?

Pop music’s appeal has grown on me over the years because being an adult sucks. Sometimes when I turn on the radio, I don’t want to hear a bunch of complex bullshit about politics or the latest recall on the car I’m driving. I just want something happy and uncomplicated.

This is the opposite of where I was when I was in high school. My life was happy and uncomplicated then, so I wanted music that was dark and complex. I wanted a soundtrack to the random destruction that was the result of me taking my happiness out on the world. My mix CD included Metallica, Rage Against the Machine, and the occasional Prince song. (I’m only human, people.)

Anyway, most of that late 90s pop music was garbage. Today’s pop music is so much more sophisticated, like a subliminal message.

If I’m interpreting the message correctly, I believe pop music is attempting to empower me. I’m not exactly sure what it’s empowering me to do, but at least you can dance to it.

Three songs have been released in the last year to help free me from whatever is oppressing me. I am ranking them in order of effectiveness.

Sara Bareilles – Brave

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUQsqBqxoR4&w=480&h=270]

Why it’s No. 3: There’s nothing particularly courageous about buying Windows 8.

Katy Perry – Roar

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CevxZvSJLk8&w=480&h=270]

Why it’s No. 2: It’s a little more epic than Brave, with the bass drum beat backing it up, but I’m not buying this line, “I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath, scared to rock the boat and make a mess.” Really? So was “Last Friday Night” intended to be an anthem of nonconformity?

Lady Gaga- Applause

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pco91kroVgQ&w=480&h=270]

Why it’s No. 1: If you just listened to it, you know why it’s No. 1. There’s a reason this person’s picture is the wallpaper on my phone. Lady Gaga’s existence empowers me. Also, she sounds like she could grow 50 feet tall and level a city if she wanted to. She’s just choosing not to because she’s really nice. Thank Lady Gaga, kids.

Thank you, Lady Gaga!

You’re welcome.